More tranny stories later!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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