I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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