I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
