so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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