Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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