I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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