Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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