ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize