dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Banned from zoo.
Again?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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