Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
