I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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