Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize