Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
