i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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