my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
