i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize
