If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
