You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
