jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize