this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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