hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
