in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize