I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
