I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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