The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my poor anus
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
