I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Another day, another engagement, another cat
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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