Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
