Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
