Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
