sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Did you pee in the oven last night??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
