Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
