return my video game
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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