did you get engaged???
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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