marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The power of my boobs compel you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
