Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
