she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
