You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
