remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
