Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
