i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
