Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
