i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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