So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
