So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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