Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
