A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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