508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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