She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
