And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
