watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bring me that man meat
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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