Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize