I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
