yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
