tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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