The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
