He asked to "fluff my boner.."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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