I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
