Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we're so committed to being not committed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
