I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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