OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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