He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
