so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The uberlube is also flammable
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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