3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
