I feel like I'm in dance class right now
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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